Recently I was sitting at dinner with a good friend and realized our conversations didn’t have any depth as we weren’t discussing anything of substance. How could I have been friends with someone for so long and not really know anything about her? Sure, I knew her day to day life, and that used to suffice, but I at this point in my life, I need more.
I was reading this book a few months ago that suggested I share a small issue with a friend in hopes it would open the door for more honest and raw conversation. Over our next dinner, I reluctantly shared something I had been dealing with for awhile in hopes she would feel inclined to do the same. Not the case, as she is what I like to call a fixer. She tried to fix my problems, but that’s not what I needed. I left dinner feeling more alone and dysfunctional than I had in awhile. I know this wasn’t her intent, as she really is a good person who I enjoy spending time with, but at this point in my life, I need more than empty, depthless friendships.
Life is busy and hectic and crazy and unpredictable, so when I do get time away with friends, I try to be as raw and honest as possible. Time is so precious, and I refuse to waste it catching up on the day to day monotonous things. You know those conversations that consist of questions like, “How are you??” or “What’s new with you?”
I encourage you to dig deep inside(for me, I don’t have to dig very far) and find your imperfections. When you find your flaws, embrace and own them. Find nonjudgemental friends to share your problems with. They are a must. I can’t promise the moment you divulge your feelings so will she. It’s all about trial and error. Give and take. It might take years, but I promise you will find your people.
I feel incredibly blessed to have found my people. We might not talk every day…or every week…hell we might not talk for months, but when we do reunite, it’s like time has stood still…with the exception of a few wrinkles…which correlate to happiness, and I’m okay with happy wrinkles(I’ll save explanation for another post). My hope is that you will get to experience honest and raw friendship. I guarantee it will change your soul.
I am forever changed by my people…so this post is for them. #thingsnoonetellsyou