As I walked out of work on Friday, I felt so free. The sun was shining, and I was smiling because the weekend was finally here. When I got home, I sunk into my couch and cuddled Charlie preparing myself for a boring, depressing night alone. But then something strange happened. I decided I didn’t need anyone to accompany me to dinner. Since when did I become so dependent on another person I couldn’t even go out alone? I had lived the last 8 months thinking I needed someone with me to enjoy this beautiful city. How disrespectful was I to myself?!!? I picked myself up off the couch, summoned Charlie, and headed out to enjoy Nashville life alone.
I chose a quaint burger bistro a block away. The dinner was delicious and so was the company. Charlie caught the eye of a granddad at the next table over, and they shared a burger together. It was beautiful. He kept coming over trying to make friends with him. I didn’t have the heart to tell him my dog has Asperger’s and only responds to me…I just played his awkwardness off as him being anxious and protective.
Stepping outside my comfort zone and enjoying the night alone on a patio with my dog was invigorating. The old me resurfaced, bringing back a happiness I forgot existed. It became pretty evident to me I first must be content with myself in order to make anyone else happy.
So, I spent the weekend focusing on doing me. Doing what I wanted to do and when I wanted to do it. I took a 2 hour nap on Saturday afternoon…the first nap I’ve taken in years and it was phenomenal. However, I did wake up in a panic assuming I was late for work…ehh, that feeling sucks. But the nap was worth it.
I can’t thank myself enough for relaxing and not worrying about cleaning or laundry or cooking. My focus this weekend was me. I proved I could sit alone on a patio, in an unfamiliar city and still be happy.
Despite all the highs, lows, and imperfections in my life, I still choose happiness. I could easily choose bitterness and depression, but let’s be honest, that would be such a miserable and depressing life. Happiness is a choice I choose every day.
I hope I have given you the courage to step outside your comfort zone to do something abnormal and spontaneous. If you’re like me and need a dog to accompany you, I will lend you Charlie, as he makes things a little less scary. Do something this week that makes you uncomfortable. Overcome it. And then reflect on it. Maybe you, too will find youself lying in bed smiling because you stepped out of your box. I promise it’s so worth it!