I was in the card aisle reading through the Mother’s Day cards trying to find the perfect one for my sister, who has only been doing this mother thing three weeks might I add. I swear I picked up 50+ cards in search for the one. I had almost convinced myself the gift was enough and a card wasn’t necessary, but then saw the simplest, most beautiful card and began reading it. As tears streamed down my face, I knew I had found the one.
You see, six months ago I would have grabbed the first card I read and not thought twice about it. And if we are being really honest, I probably wouldn’t have bought a card. But like I have stated in previous posts, tragedy changes you.
Six months ago my life was forever changed when my husband suffered a traumatic brain injury. For a month, my mind was consumed wondering, hoping, and praying for a miracle. For six weeks, his doctors and therapists weren’t hopeful he would be able to survive without constant supervision let alone return to work. I learned how to live in the now. I focused on the present because honestly, the present was my only guarantee as I wasn’t sure what the future would look like. Each day I would come in and introduce myself and answer the same questions as I had the days prior. If you’ve seen The Notebook, then you will understand this. I felt like Will was my Allie and I was his Noah. Will finally emerged , recovery began and within 4 months he was back at work. Sounds too good to be true even to this day.
I tell you all this so that you can understand how tragedy changed me. I learned to live in the present and how to celebrate life fully as often as possible. I learned how to be sincere. I pick my battles now rather than argue and fight over each disagreement. I learned how to listen, truly listen. I learned there was nothing I couldn’t overcome as long as my supportive family and friends were by my side.
Most importantly, the biggest lesson this tragedy taught me was this:
This is the only life I am given. Sadly, there will be more shitty days/months/ years ahead, however, I am hopeful there will also be many beautiful rainbows. It is solely my decision how to handle what life throws me, and for those of you who are counting, I’m 1 for 0 currently. Keep ’em coming, life…but also, I’d be okay if you’d want to throw some rainbows my way. Either way, I’m a survivor and am so thankful for this beautiful life. I will forever be changed by tragedy.